When Empathy Becomes Overwhelm

This post is part of my Connect Series, exploring how our brains respond to social cues and ways to stay grounded while staying connected. You can start here for the full series overview.

Empathy is an amazing ability. It allows us to feel with others, understand their joys and struggles, and connect in ways that make relationships rich.

But sometimes, empathy lands heavily in the body. You might feel a knot in your stomach, a dull ache in your chest, or notice your breath turn shallow after hearing someone else’s pain.

This is empathy distress — your nervous system resonating with another person’s emotions, like two instruments vibrating in the same key.

In early human groups, this attunement helped communities survive: sensing danger or distress in others prompted action and care.

Today, it can leave us temporarily caught in someone else’s emotional current where we may get swept up in rumination, anxiety, or the impulse to immediately “fix” everything.

Try this:
When someone else’s emotions start to feel overwhelming:

• Pause and recognize that your reaction comes from a genuine desire to help.

• Ask yourself: “What could I realistically do that would actually be helpful right now?”

The most healing response isn’t always to solve—it’s to be present. Sometimes, listening or simply offering quiet company is enough.