Why One Bad Moment Feels Bigger — And Shines Brighter — Than Ten Good Ones
This post is part of my Protect Series, where I explore how our brains keep us on alert and ways to work with that wiring. You can start here for the full series overview.
Have you ever noticed how one small thing going wrong can overshadow ten things that went right?
Maybe it’s the awkward comment that replays after an otherwise lovely conversation, the one missed deadline that erases every task you finished on time, or that single piece of negative feedback that drowns out all the praise…
And now your thoughts are repeatedly analyzing, criticizing, and trying to fix what’s already passed.
You’re not overreacting. Your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.
It has a built-in survival system, called negativity bias, that constantly scans for potential threats. This ability to detect danger quickly made the difference between life and death for our human ancestors.
Today, that same spotlight still operates, zooming in on anything that feels risky, uncomfortable, or uncertain. For those who’ve experienced high-alert or life-threatening situations, this spotlight can feel especially intense.
The trouble is, when the beam narrows too tightly, it becomes difficult to see everything else—like holding a flashlight in a dark room. The moments of success, competence, or kindness that are just as real, but are less attention-grabbing, get lost in the shadows.
Try this:
When your mind zeroes in on what’s not working:
Ask: “What’s going right that I haven’t noticed yet?”
Imagine that internal spotlight softening its harsh focus and widening into a gentle glow, helping your mind illuminate the full picture.
