Why Small Mistakes Feel Heavy — and How to Find Balance Again

This post is part of my Protect Series, where I explore how our brains keep us on alert and ways to work with that wiring. You can start here for the full series overview.

A former colleague once shared what happened after accidentally missing an important email thread. No harm was done. The message was quickly sent. But for days, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. His mind kept returning to the what ifs: What if I seem careless? What if they trust me less now?

It’s called loss aversion. Our brains naturally give more weight to potential losses, making us feel the upset more deeply than the satisfaction of gain.

We’ll work twice as hard to avoid losing something — like credibility, approval, or security — than we will to seek praise or reward.

Evolutionarily, this made sense. For early humans, losing food, shelter, or safety could be devastating. Holding tightly to what they already had was protective, which is why for people today, even minor losses or errors feel disproportionately significant.

Try This:
When you’re ruminating over a mistake or feeling that familiar ache of “I messed up”:

• Balance the scales — jot down three things you did well or moments you feel proud of.

Because your mind’s scale tends to weigh losses more heavily, adding a little counterweight of perspective can help even things out.